Lost Days
by SilverWillowMusic Inc
Summary: 'Once lost, these things can never quite be recovered...' Everything seemed ideal between these two brothers - that is, until one fell in love with the other. Can he hide his feelings before they destroy his world?
1. Unexpected Distances

**[A/N] This is my first fanfic... quite angsty, lots of the joys of twincest. Rated T for safety... was planning on making it more M-ish, but after reaching the fourth chapter I decided we're gonna keep it chaste. Ish.  
**

**Dedicated to my dear co-author, who shall be known hereforth as Hobbsie. Much thanks!**

**I (sadly) do not own any part of the Hitachiin twins or Ouran High School Host Club. That right belongs solely to Bisco Hatori, who we thank most heavily for her creation of these yaoi gods.  
**

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A cold breeze blew through the open window in the silent bedroom of the Hitachiin twins, raising shivers on the partially naked, unmoving boy alone on the bed. The wind cut straight to his core, but he did not notice it, focussed completely on the dilemma he was throwing himself against inside. A single tear rolled down his cheek, unstopped by the usual shaking hand that would wipe it away. His situation, he knew, was impossible. He had nowhere and no one to run to. Not anymore.

"_Hika-chan! Hika-chan! Know what?"_

_A small bronze-haired boy running towards his dozing brother called excitedly. Hikaru sat up, turning to see what his beloved sibling was so eager to tell him._

"_What? Get to the point, Kao-chan…"_

_A soft grin and a peck on the cheek from the blue caused Hikaru's hands to fly to his face, as his identical twin fell back, laughing, on to the grass with him._

"_I love you, Hika-chan"_

Oh, how he missed the days when such words had been commonplace, when they were so easy to speak, and had only innocence hidden within them. The days when their hugs and closeness were acceptable, when they could be brushed away as simple 'brotherly' feelings, as natural. Before awkward adolescence and the distancing that came with it set in. Of course, they still put up the front for the Host Club, but deep inside, a gap had formed that no amount of effort by Hikaru could close. He felt it every time he watched that so-familiar face next to him, and was continually cut by the difference between the distance inside and the physical distance separating the two boys.

At first, he tried to escape the suspicions inside, but he soon came to realize that the one doing all the pushing was not he. Since about a year ago, Kaoru had begun to grow silent around Hikaru, slowly estranging the twins, gradually becoming colder and colder when they were alone. At first, the more Kaoru had isolated him, the more Hikaru had chased him, but it only seemed to worsen the situation. It cut him every time, and each wound was made worse by the realisation that it was Hikaru's own fault.

In the empty space of the dark bedroom, Hikaru's whole being ached as he recalled what he had done, the wrongness of feelings that must have caused Kaoru to run when he noticed them emanating from his brother. Those sick, wrong feelings…

_[eighteen months earlier]_

A long sigh. A shift of posture. The sound of his feet tapping under the desk. The feeling of yellow eyes glancing his way occasionally, confirming that boredom was mutual in the monochrome world where they were among others. The slow blink of those long, golden eyelashes, and the soft sigh of identical breaths – his heart began to thump loudly in his ears- that face, so similar to his own, but so much more expressive. How many expressions of Kaoru's had Hikaru not seen, he wondered. He jumped suddenly as a breathy, blushing version of his brother cried out enticingly in his mind. Suddenly feeling warm, noting the heat radiating from his cheeks, and other, lower places… he drew back from such thoughts, blaming them on hormones.

Despite this, he continued to keep one eye on the beautiful reflection beside him at all noticed everything about his twin, his pounding, heavy heartbeat matching the taps of Kaoru's fingers. This state of mind had grown over the past few months, to the point where he felt that there was nothing of interest in this world other than Kaoru, and everything Kaoru saw, dreamed to do, felt or breathed. Kaoru was the only colour in the world. It was close to obsession, to be honest. Somewhere, far inside him, he knew that this was more than sibling affection. An even more microscopic voice debated whether it was right to feel this way, whether he should let himself continue this way. As time progressed, this voice became louder the closer he got to realising his feelings. It yelled at him to give up while he still could, to lock away this dark flower that was taking root throughout his heart. It screamed at him that his feelings were sick, wrong, downright incestual, but he brushed the logical voice away each time. He chose to concentrate instead on the happy beat of his heart when he walked with his twin. Maybe, just maybe, if he had known what it would lead to, Hikaru would have listened.

Weeks passed, and things began to change. Oblivious to anything but his own feelings, Hikaru failed to notice as Kaoru suddenly grew quiet, and the distancing began. It took a while, but the ice in his twin's actions began to cut through the haze of his denial. When he moved to hold Kaoru's hand, it was snatched away quickly. When their 'Brotherly Love' act at the club became heated, and the fan girls began to faint from blood loss as usual, there was no emotion in his brother's eyes. When they walked together, Kaoru kept a slight distance from his brother's side. When they changed, Kaoru left the room. Each one of these actions began to hurt, the pain increasing until Hikaru was close to despair. He had to do something, to confront Kaoru, but… if he did, he might lose him further. So, he bottled his bruised, aching feelings, leaving them to poison him silently from the inside, as the pressure grew.

And then, he ruined everything.

It had been a painfully sunny day, so the Host Club had held their entertainments in the grounds for the day, with a theme of 'English Tea Party'. Unfortunately, this had meant that the hosts were dressed in restricting Victorian style clothing, and thus were very overheated very quickly. After hours of giggling fangirls thirstily feasting their fantasies on the gods before them, the club closed for the day. As usual, Kaoru rushed away from Hikaru as soon as he had the chance with some feeble excuse. Close to tears, Hikaru called his chauffeur, and travelled home alone, again. He knew that Kaoru would return as soon as he was sure that his brother was not going to intercept him, so he let his twin go, knowing that chasing him would be futile. When he reached the bedroom, he collapsed onto the once-shared bed in desperation, allowing himself to loosen the collar of his costume, and drift into slumber.

If only he had known back then the pain that would await him when he awoke…

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**[A/N] Thank you for reading!**

**Next chapter, we switch to Kaoru's view... we may even have a bit of contact O_O  
**

**Reviews are to me like sweets (and Light... nom) are to L. I cannot function without a healthy dose of them as often as possible. Flames will be used for toasting marshmallows. Advice welcome.  
**


	2. Glass Spheres

**[A/N] Well, here we are. I managed to get it done, after hours of blood, sweat and the odd tear. **

**If you have any ideas or things you want to see happen in upcoming chapters, please fell free to tell me in a review :3. There's a lot of point-of-view changes in this one, so I've tried to make it as clear as possible who's it is, but if you get confused or don't like what I've done, as I say, tell me in a review.**

**I also am sorry to those I may have confused. I uploaded this once, then noticed a few typos and other problems afterwards, so I had to re-edit and upload it. Sorry!  
**

**I (sadly) do not own any part of the Hitachiin twins or Ouran High School Host Club. That right belongs solely to Bisco Hatori, who we thank most heavily for her creation of these yaoi gods.**

**This one is for footbanana, who sent me a lovely review and still sends me messages. Thank you.  
**

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**(Kaoru's POV)**

Kaoru Hitachiin was tired. Tired of everything, the screaming fangirls, the Host Club, the whole 'Brotherly Love' act… everything. He was simply sick of playing a part that inside, he had long become one with. For him, the tender moments and the love he portrayed towards his brother during Host Club hours was not simply an act. It was something much stronger, much darker… and much, much more perverse. He had realised it long ago.

Kaoru was in love with his brother.

This feeling… it was so painful, so commanding of his body and heart, but he could in no way hide it. Instead, after months of internal conflict and longing for his twin, he decided to pull the plug. He had to cut himself off, before things got too heavy, and he burnt to the ground the very essence of a connection with his brother. So, he had begun pulling away from Hikaru, slowly so as not to alarm him. But, the more he tried to stay away from his brother, the more persistent his heartbeats became, and the more his brother seemed to stick to him. It wasn't working.

That is, until a few weeks ago. It seemed Hikaru was beginning to realise Kaoru's intentions. He had become quiet, no longer protesting when Kaoru left his side or avoided his gaze. He simply drew into himself when they were alone, only playing his loving part for the benefit of the Host Club. Kaoru's heart twinged when he noticed this… he had never meant to hurt Hikaru, but maybe, he supposed, it was unavoidable if he was going to hide his sick love from the older twin. Still, it hurt more than he had expected. He knew that despite being the younger twin, he was more serious and insightful than Hikaru. This kind of heavy, deep feelings… Hikaru had probably never experienced them. He was the type to roam along life's road with complete carelessness, never caring about the darker side to emotions, never falling into the trap of forbidden feelings. He would never return these twisted feelings, in any shape or form.

Sitting alone in his limousine, travelling home long after his brother's departure, Kaoru sighed. Such heavy thoughts and emotions made him feel so helpless… And this damned costume wasn't helping. He loosened the collar gently, then returned to his thoughts.

As the younger twin walked fatiguedly along the corridor, he heard a faint noise coming from the room he had once shared with his brother, before… before he had realised a few things. He shook his head to rid it of the still-raw memories, slowing unconsciously as he reached that old door. It seemed that Hikaru was home, and taking a nap, by the looks of it. A soft, reminiscent smile passed briefly across Kaoru's lips, before it was snatched away cruelly by his automatic suppression of the love swelling his heart. He placed a foot over the threshold.

Only to check on his twin, you see. He was still in control. Still… he was still in… Oh, the beauty of it… Hikaru's gentle sleeping face, how calm, so lovely. It called to mind the days when they used to fall asleep in each other's arms, naïve to the prejudices of the world around them. How he had loved that safe, warm place. The sounds of their slow breaths synchronising, the graceful flutter of Hikaru's thick eyelashes as he dreamed of far-away hopes… so bewitching. By this point, Kaoru had lost all semblance of control, of holding back and staying away from his twin. He was lost in memories of happier times, now seemingly gone forever. Slowly, so as not to wake the graceful reflection – so similar to his own face, but so much more expressive and strong- Kaoru edged towards the bed, drawn by his swelling heart and irresistible feelings.

Once he was poised at the very edge of the king-size bed, he stopped, suddenly struck afresh by the pointlessness of it all, the futility of his feelings. The black rose choking his heart tightened, and he let it cut him. Leaning gently forward, the pain nearly causing tears to spill from his eyes, he stretched a hand out to his sleeping brother's perfect features. As a single tear spilled down his cheek, he brushed a lock of Hikaru's hair from his pale forehead, wishing that they could be reborn again and again, in a world where his feelings were not so perverted, so wrong. Where he could be free to love openly this sleeping boy without fear of being rejected and looked upon as 'disgusting'. Entranced by the pattern of his twin's familiar features, he unconsciously leaned forward, a hand still resting oh-so-softly on his brother's hair. Closing his eyes, while wishing with all his heart, he brushed his lips, gently as a feather lands, across Hikaru's, savouring the forbidden moment.

Kaoru stood up, not even trying to stop the tears now flowing freely down his face, cradling his lips.

He started to turn away, when Hikaru stirred suddenly, mumbling his brother's name and curling into himself as if in some sort of pain. This caught Kaoru's attention, halting him for long enough in shock that when Hikaru's eyes began to flutter in waking, he had nowhere to run. Panicking, he made his way to the nearest shelter available- the en-suite bathroom. There he hid behind the door, cursing his stupidity, his feelings, his sentimentality and the whole situation in general. How could he be so stupid? To let himself do such a thing… to feel such things… he put his head in his hands, hating himself for what he had done.

**(Hikaru POV)**

He had awoken from his dream with a strong feeling of confusion and loss. It had felt so real – he held a hand to his lips, almost thinking he could taste the tearful kiss from his brother there on his lips. Such thoughts, he should not think them, he knew that, but still… He had no control over his dreams. There he could roam in his mind's fantasies without having to catch himself to control the amount of feeling he was displaying, or look away from his brother when he blushed. He rubbed his brow, considering briefly how he had never experienced this kind of conflict before. He knew everyone thought that he was the less serious twin, but when it came to his feelings for Kaoru… well, there was nothing light-hearted or painless about those. He rubbed his brow briefly.

Damn, he had to stop thinking about it. It was wrong, sick, _wrong_. He couldn't allow himself to be drawn any deeper into these incestual feelings. To the fangirls, yes, it was all roses and sweetness, but no one else would care to know… especially Kaoru. His brother's sudden cold treatment of Hikaru had seemed to suggest that he was sick of being permanently enclosed in their bubble, that closed-off universe that no other person could penetrate. Kaoru obviously wanted something other than the sweet isolation they had always shared. The only problem was, his venturing out into the world seemed to involve leaving his brother behind. Hikaru feared this, being left alone and broken in the shattered glass sphere of their childhood memories and his choking feelings.

He shook his head out of habit, trying to shake loose the weights in his chest. As he did so, he remembered his original intent, before his nap. He had meant to get out of this dreadful costume and shower. Maybe it would help to clear his head.

He began to unbutton the waistcoat, frustration penting up at the many resisting buttons.

**(Kaoru POV)**

Kaoru had no escape. He was trapped in this bathroom now that his brother had awoken. There was no way out without being noticed… his only option was to wait, lurking in the familiar tiled room until his brother either left or fell asleep again. So stupid.

He peeked out the door to check on his brother's situation, only to see the one thing he had really, really hoped he would not.

Hikaru was getting ready to shower.

Kaoru knew his brother's dressing habits well. He had often lain on the bed, watching out of the corner of his eye while that so familiar body was slowly revealed. Here he was, entranced by it once more. Slim, lightly muscled, creamy skin contrasted starkly against the impatience of the older twin as he stripped to the waist to go to the bathroom. It was a strange habit of Hikaru's, that. After the age of about 12, he never undressed fully in the bathroom or the bedroom. He always undressed his upper half first, but left his trousers or jeans on until he was in the bathroom. It was confusing, but so enticing to watch… Kaoru began to feel his body heating up – wait… If Hikaru was undressing, then that meant… Damn. He was going to be discovered, and soon if he didn't do something about it. He frantically looked around, despite all ready knowing the room by heart, and knowing that there was no shelter from what would happen next.

He decided to make a run for it, and hope Hikaru wouldn't question as to why Kaoru was in his bathroom. And with that, he burst through the door and walked as fast as possible towards the exit, breaking into a run halfway.

It didn't work.

**(Hikaru POV)**

Caught by surprise, Hikaru yelped and turned around. Upon seeing his brother exiting his bathroom at speed, his only thought was to stop him before he could escape once more. He reached out an arm, successfully latching on to that forearm so similar to his own.

"Kaoru?"

His heart began to beat frantically at the rabbit-in-the-headlights look on the younger twin's face. He noticed Kaoru swallow nervously, before parting his lips (which Hikaru was taking far too much notice of) to speak.

"I, um, I… needed something. I needed… to borrow… a towel… yeah. A towel. Now, would you kindly let go of my arm, Hikaru?"

This last icily delivered line stabbed Hikaru painfully in the chest, as he realised the fact that he was still clinging to his brother's arm. However, instead of letting go in shame, his surprise turned into simmering anger and he pulled Kaoru closer. He could feel his eyes burning into his brothers, scanning that face for the lie he found immediately.

"We have maids to provide towels, Kaoru. Why are you lying? What are you hiding from me? To be honest, all this cold shoulder treatment is leaving me really…"

He couldn't finish the sentence. It hurt too much, and he was afraid of saying the wrong thing, letting his feelings show too clearly. His brother blushed and looked away, uncomfortable in the tense atmosphere building around the two. It was as if, almost, like he was searching for another reason, an excuse to leave the room as soon as he could. This only served to fuel Hikaru's rage. Hurt and rejected to the point of desperation, he began to snap, letting all of the pain he was going through come through as anger towards the one he loved. He raised his voice slightly.

"Why, then, Kaoru? What is your reason? Spit it out! Tell me! Tell me why you've been doing this, this continuous behaviour of pushing me away? If you hate me so badly, then you could just say so, instead of torturing me with your silence! I'm sorry I held you back! I'm sorry I can't leave you so easily as you can leave me! I'm sorry I'm possessive, it's just that… just that…"

He stopped himself there, cringing and afraid that he had said too much. But when he looked up, instead of rage or even disgust, the identical reflection of Kaoru's eyes showed only surprise tinged with – regret? No, he was looking too deep. However, his rage still coiled behind his eyes and he looked straight at his brother, waiting for an answer, trying not to resort to violence, as would be his usual choice. Instead, he only got a slight choking sound from his twin as he looked away yet again, pulling hard at his arm as he tried to escape. That one move broke Hikaru. Regret for even asking, the anguish of having his suspicions confirmed, the agony of abandonment by the one he loved… once more it turned to rage. He could feel himself losing control.

**(Kaoru POV)**

Hikaru's eyes were filled with pain and anger as he stared down the captured boy. This look caused something in Kaoru to doubt his choices, wonder if the pain his brother was going through was really worth his efforts… no, he couldn't think like that. Still, his heart beat heavily in his ears and he was acutely aware of everything his brother was doing, even his scent. The part of his forearm Hikaru held so desperately tingled and he ached to pull the older twin closer, not to kiss or hold, but to merge, to become one mind, one body. If only they had been one person rather than two, if he could exist alongside Hikaru, be part of him, they would never have to be apart.

Lost in his frantic musings, when Hikaru spoke those pained words they cut straight through to Kaoru, grabbing his attention as his twin poured forth a flood of hurt and abandonment. Kaoru was shocked. That Hikaru had thought that he wanted to leave him behind - to escape from him – it was a strong blow to his already doubtful self. He could not reply, frantically trying to stop the denial, the truth from bursting out and filling the room with the devastation he knew it would have. All that he could do was choke slightly on his own words and look away from those burning, suffering eyes. What had he done? Why had he done it? There was no way to go back, no way to fix it, because he knew it was the only way. He had to carry through with the path he had chosen—

A sudden tug on his arm, his brothers face suddenly filling with some strong, bereaved expression mixed with anger.

Then - Hikaru kissed him.

**(Hikaru POV)**

Roughly and desperately, he pulled his weaker brother towards him and smashed his lips to Kaoru's, as tears leaked torturously from his own eyes. He knew it was wrong, knew he had to stop, but it was overwhelming. The agony, everything… this was the only way he could fully express it. He had his eyes screwed tight shut, desperately not wanting to see the look his poor brother would be wearing. He could taste the sweet, forbidden taste of those identical lips mingling with the salt of his tears, similar to the taste of the kiss in his dream, but much longer and more heart-rendingly painful.

Just as he could feel the horror of his actions bearing down, something happened. Something strange, and unexpected. He opened his eyes to check that he was still awake, and saw Kaoru's also fill with tears and close. He suddenly felt soft lips yielding to his own, responding with equal parts sadness and anger to his own.

**(No POV)**

This was no everyday lover's kiss – it had become the kiss of two individuals fated by birth never to be together, but neither knew this. They both felt, deep inside, the black and stabbing surety that the other was only acting out of guilt, fear or a mixture of those and other feelings. Neither twin suspected that the kiss was a mutual search for something to say goodbye to, a release from the traumatic ache in their hearts.

The kiss deepened as the two became drawn further into the dance they had initiated, a solemn waltz of bodies pressed tightly together for comfort and shelter, lips gently communicating in some instinctual language. Fingers tangled in the other's hair, around their necks, ran over their hips and back up, mapping their faces like reflections as if they had never seen something so precious, then doing the same with the contours of each other's shoulder's and chests. One, or both, began to breathe in ragged gasps when the kiss broke so the other twin could kiss lightly along their jaw and throat, trying to memorise every feature of this body he knew he would never get to touch again. By this point, it was impossible to tell who was who – even for themselves. Kaoru's wish had come true - they had merged into each other's embrace, losing all sense of the outside world, of their promises and restraints, of the things they had vowed never to do. They were one, in that fragile moment.

Flushed faces, sweet breath mingling in the air and lips still dancing, but to a much more frantic beat now. Hip to hip, toe to toe, the two boys spiralled deeper into the kiss.

However, the glass sphere the moment had created, existed in, had to burst eventually. Every bubble, no matter how strong it seems, will eventually float higher than its thin walls can stand, and it will give in to the forces pushing in on it from the outside.

Through the dense delirium of the moment, Hikaru could feel something pulling him away, yelling and screaming at him to stop. He tried to ignore it… tried to let the moment last as long as he could let it, suspend time. For he knew, as soon as the kiss broke, his entire world would collapse as Kaoru came to his senses and realised what they had done.

The kiss began to change as the two began to surface, taking on a tone of desperation as they both struggled to save themselves from the deadly rocks at the bottom of the fall.

But the sphere shattered despite their best efforts.

**(Kaoru POV)**

Kaoru pulled away, pushing at his brother. He collapsed to the floor, holding his head in his hands, his thoughts screaming at the act he had committed. Hikaru followed him, tried to hold him and comfort him, despite the panic and fear rising like bile in his throat.

However, the arm around Kaoru's shoulders was roughly pushed away, as the younger began to shake with self-loathing for letting his sick feelings show. His self-rage overcame him and as Hikaru reached once more for him, he slapped that face so identical to his own with all his might and ran. He had to cut it off. Now. That's why he hit him; he had to… had to pull the plug. He ran with all the desperation of a man escaping the noose, not wanting to see what would happen when Hikaru realised that he felt these disgusting things for him, and as a result ran from him. He had to escape before Hikaru did. He ran far and fast, not quite sure where he was heading, trying to straighten his rumpled shirt as he wiped relentless tears from his cheeks, eventually collapsing somewhere in a corner of the mansion, and weeping with his entire being.

**(Hikaru POV)**

Meanwhile, Hikaru staggered over to the bed. He clutched his stinging cheek, a parting kiss from his younger brother's palm. He lay there, feeling cold numbness spread to his core. When his brother had looked up, as he hit him, Hikaru had seen a steely resolve forming in those eyes. Something had broken permanently between the two. They had crossed a line that could never be uncrossed, and he feared that in doing that he had effectively smashed the tender connection between the two. Surrender began to ice his whole being and with a painful resolve, he began to close his heart. Lock it away, bury it all deep down where it could never be found. Lock away the pain, and his perverse love for his brother. Maybe it was a sign from a higher being. He had had no right to feel this way, and now he was being punished. Or maybe enlightened. Either way, he continued to bury it all, lying there on the bed in the freezing dark as a single tear rolled down his cheek.

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**[A/N] I know I promised you a lime/lemon, but I hope this is enough...**

**Chapter Three may be slow in coming. Such is the life of a girl with work to do, sorry. Instead, you can spend the wait time sending me reviews and telling me what you want to see happening next.**

**Reviews are to me like sweets (and Light... nom) are to L. I cannot function without a healthy dose of them as often as possible. Flames will be used for toasting marshmallows. Advice welcome.**

**Hobbsie: Isn't this getting a bit too depressing? I mean, they're practically suicidal.**

**Me: Nah, the angst is good. It's better than having them die or get pregnant at least.**

**Hobbsie: (O_O) Pregnant? But... they're guys! Wait, how about it? Let's give them a teen pregnancy to deal with! Make Haruhi preggers! Yay!  
**

**Me: Let's not go there. Ever.**

**Next chapter, we get the twins to talk to some people other than themselves. Finally.  
**


	3. Erasing and Falling

**[A/N] Okay, my lovely readers. Here it is. My excuses for two-week delay are at the end, so don't hate me, please. I love you!**

**Hobbsie helped a lot with this one. Please give her a round of applause, everyone.**

**Chapter Three is dedicated to the lovely teachers who don't yell at me for writing furiously in my orange notebook during class. Seriously, 75% of this chapter was written during Chemistry and Maths. I'm so dedicated. *sniffle*  
**

**Oh yeah, I don't own the Hitachiins or any part of Ouran High School Host Club. That right belongs solely to Hatori Bisco, yadda yadda yadda. You can't sue me!  
**

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As the sun rose gracefully, its gentle light fell through glass panes into a silent bedroom. The warm rays alighted on Hikaru's skin gently, warming him as if to comfort him. However, he felt nothing of its kind caresses, instead covering his eyes to block out the painful glare. He had slept dreamlessly for a very short while at some point in the night, but not long enough to truly leave him rested. Heavy-hearted, he sat up, knowing that the new day had to be faced.

No matter how much he may prefer to just sink into the ground and never see the sky again, he had to continue on, for the sake of his pride and those he knew would worry if he took the day off. He shrugged his clothes on, and left the mansion without breakfast, already slightly late but in no mood to rush. If anyone had tried to communicate with him that morning, they would have received no reply, for the older Hitachiin was operating on autopilot. He was still completing all his basic functions, going through the motions, but his mind was far above it all, lost in some deeper state of thought. His eyes were hollow and unseeing, his usually bright face expressionless.

His driver noticed, but said nothing, knowing that there was nothing he could do or say to help this young boy. Back when he himself was a lad, when he had had girl problems (for he assumed this was the only thing that could disrupt the usually mischievous teen's heart to such a degree), he would only lash out at those who presumed to help him. He shook his head, smiling. Love worries, huh? Young Master Hitachiin would just have to figure it out by himself.

...

Meanwhile, Kaoru was already at the gates of the school. After the previous night, he had awoken to find himself in a most pathetic state. However, he had hardened his heart and put on his usual mask of normality. He had cleaned himself up, dressed and left in perfect time, greeting the maids on the way out as he did every morning. He would not let it show. He would act like nothing happened, and just pray that the heartbreak would not pour through. He had done it for months, but… it was sharper today. He did not think back to what had happened, trying as hard as possible to leave it at the back of his mind, afraid of another breakdown like the one he had fallen asleep to the night before. He would not look back.

After all, he had seen it coming. He knew that it would hurt, that he might lose himself, but he was handling it. Or he was trying to. Maybe, if he pretended that he had forgotten it all already, that there was no feeling in that kiss, Hikaru would do the same. Maybe he would still be able to be near his twin… if only they could both forget.

If there was any possibility that he had not betrayed his feelings in that moment, he could continue to exist. As long as Hikaru stayed the same, treated it like just another part of the act. After all, the only reason for the kiss could be that Hikaru had gotten too wrapped up in their act and his hormones had taken over. Yes, it hurt, like a direct stab to the heart**, **but at least he had no false hopes. He had not been drawn in by it all, and was treating the kiss as all that Hikaru would see it as. A simple lapse, caused by teen hormones and sexual frustration. He would not be so foolish as to hope. He would not.

Spotting some of his followers watching him, Kaoru cleared his face of any expression he may have been wearing, smiled brilliantly and ran his fingers through his hair. They blushed accordingly, and ran away giggling. A sad smile graced his lips – it was so easy to pretend, to take a certain posture and lower his eyelids to just _there_, and they were fooled. Taking a breath, he walked through the gates, feeling curious eyes searching for the twin who was always by his side. Once they arrived at school, they were always together, even before last night, when truly they had not properly communicated for months. When in this building, when with the Host Club, they donned their masks and played their parts so faithfully. But today, things were different. Hitachiin Kaoru was walking into the school alone, instead of waiting for his brother's limousine to arrive and entering together. He felt like an injured deer surrounded by hungry wolves. He could already hear them whispering, hear them speculating. Soon enough, the bets would be placed as to why he was running solo. Head straight up, he kept walking, wearing the trademark Hitachiin smirk to show that there was nothing amiss, showing his amusement at their gossiping.

Yet he missed the security of his brother's hand in his, even if it was just part of the act.

...

Haruhi sighed. Another day of being played with and hiding her gender for money - what would her mother have said? It didn't help that she was practically stalked by the Host Club at all times, either. Especially Tamaki-senpai and his weird obsession with being her father… Anyway. She had work to do. If she was going to survive the day, she would at least have to find something to distract her from her spiralling debt and gender confusion.

She fumed internally for a few seconds, before being sidetracked by two unusual and very worrying observations. Firstly, she had not been glomped by the twins as per her ordinary morning entry to the school. This was worrying because, usually if the Host Club weren't practically molesting her, they were planning more interesting (annoying) ways to get to her. This usually involved cross-cross-dressing her. Ridiculous.

Secondly, there were hordes of girls rushing in the opposite direction to her, whispering about something, debating and probably placing bets. This meant that there was some sort of spectacle in the direction they were rushing. And a spectacle _always_ related to the Host Club. She evaluated her options. She could either:

1) Run away as fast as possible before they could track her down and drag her into whatever they were doing, or

2) Find out what was going on and form a plan of action.

Haruhi chose option 2, deciding that she should at least deprive the crazed stalkers of the element of surprise. With that in mind, she joined the flow of fangirls, trying to be invisible as she was pulled irresistibly along towards the source of her consternation.

Then she saw what everyone was talking about, and was surprised as the rest of the audience that had gathered. Kaoru was alone. He was never alone. The Hitachiins had recently begun taking separate cars to school ("Hikaru keeps sleeping in, and I hate to disturb such a peaceful dreamer, so I decided to come early" Kaoru had explained) but even then, Kaoru would faithfully wait for his brother's car at the gates, and they would be inseparable from that point on. That Kaoru would come into the school alone – it was unheard of, and in a school full of bored girls, speculations spread fast. She could already hear the vultures gossiping about the famed pair having fought, or Hikaru being grievously injured and Kaoru having to fight through life without him, and worse. She had to drag herself away before she got caught up in the fangirls' grim fantasies.

She watched quietly as Kaoru smiled at the adoring crowds, casually continuing forwards as if nothing was wrong. However, she had spent a lot of time around the twins, and knew their behaviour patterns very well. She could feel that something was up, something possibly much more painful to Kaoru than he was pretending. She had to get closer.

With that in mind, Haruhi began striding purposefully in the direction of Music Room Nº 3.

...

Hikaru felt, rather than saw, the commotion at the school before he walked into it. He knew from the buzz in the air that something big had happened, and he was smart enough to know that it probably involved him, and that he didn't want to be part of it. Not today. Still, he had to get into the school somehow, and he was already late. Bracing his shoulders, he employed his best weapon against fangirls: heavily-implied-yaoi overload. He adjusted his clothes to look thrown-on, mussed up his hair and forced himself to appear exhausted after a long night of… something, with a hint of barely concealed satisfaction.

He hurried through the gates, looking at his watch to emphasise just how late he was. He then glanced up as if seeking a glimpse of someone, and let a small blush dust his cheeks at the stares awaiting him. He made to adjust his tie, subtly showing off the sensual hollow at the base of his throat. He stretched, the winced as if in slight pain caused by too much rough… something.

And with that, every female and most of the males within a 500m radius fainted, blood dribbling from their noses slowly, as each one wished they were Hitachiin Kaoru with all their being.

Here, Hikaru would usually allow a small, trademark smirk to grace his lips, but today, he simply lowered his head and carried on walking. He did not think about how he was going to face his friends, or how he was going to be 'normal'. He focussed on right _now_ instead, stepping nonchalantly over the bodies he had littered around the grounds, all while delicately avoiding getting blood on his clothes.

Blood… memories of a day in the kitchen long ago came to mind.

"_It's just so _pointless, _Kao-chan. I don't understand why you want to do this so badly. We have maids to do these things for us. It's what they're _employed_ for."_

_His little brother, currently age seven, pouted adorably. Hikaru looked away, knowing that he would probably give in if he met those puppy-dog eyes. He folded his arms to show how adverse he was to this game._

"_But, Hika-cha~an. It's just for fun. We never eat the chocolates all those girls give us, so we might as well make some for each other. C'mon, it'll be fun! I just want to show you how much I love you, okay? Is that so bad? Don't you want to swap chocolates on Valentines? It's only natural that we give chocolates to those we love and are grateful to, so I want to give some to you. Now, come help me make them."_

_It was funny how the more modest sibling could be so bossy when around his older brother. He reluctantly followed his brother into the kitchen, knowing inside that this venture was not going to end well._

"_Fine. But only 'cos it's you."_

_Ten minutes later, it happened. There he was, attempting to chop the chocolate into small pieces that would melt more easily when he heard his brother yelp as he touched a finger to a hot pan._

"_Kao-chan? Are you o- OW!"_

_Distracted by his brother's distress, Hikaru had lost concentration and the sharp knife came down on his finger abruptly. It began to bleed slowly, but he ignored this fact, instead running over to his brother and pushing the burned hand under the cold tap. _

"_Be more careful, baka! You could have been really hurt!"_

_Kaoru looked slightly shocked, but managed to notice the now quite nasty-looking cut on his brother's hand. As soon as his own wound had been fussed over and bandaged by Hikaru, Kaoru managed to finally get a hold of the older twin's hand._

"_And you called me an idiot. Let me see." He berated. Hikaru only scowled, knowing full well that Kao-chan was going to make a fuss about the little cut on his finger. When he felt something brushing the wound, he looked up, surprised._

"_What? I'm only kissing it better. Here, this will clean it. Remember when Mom did this when I cut my finger? It was really disgusting, but it cleaned it, ne? And we're brothers, so it's okay."_

_What was Kao-chan talking about? Cleaning? – Ah. Oh my, that was what he had meant. Kao-chan had popped his elder brother's finger into his mouth, gently sucking away the blood and cleaning it, keeping a firm hold on Hikaru's wrist so he couldn't draw away. His first reaction was revulsion – his finger was in someone else's _mouth_, but then something else overcame it. A warm feeling pooled in his stomach, and a faint blush dusted his cheeks. It was quite… nice._

_Cold air hitting the wound as his finger was released made him focus again. Was Kao-chan also blushing? Oh, of course. He had just put a finger in his mouth – it must have been embarrassing._

_He really did love his brother, more than anyone in the whole wide world. They were safe together._

_...  
_

Haruhi stood in front of the large oak-panelled doors of the third music room, pondering her decision. There was obviously something wrong with Kaoru. She, being quite observant, could tell from the slightly awkward tilt to her friend's lips and the small emptiness in his eyes that he was upset. However, what use was that if she couldn't help? She just wasn't good with people, and meddling was Tamaki-senpai's job. But, Haruhi had a friend in need. She steeled herself and turned the handle.

Thank the Lord; Kaoru was the only one there. She couldn't imagine what she would have had to deal with if the rest of the hosts had been present. He seemed to have been slumped in a chair facing away from her, his head in his hands, but when he heard the familiar dramatic creak of the door he had straightened immediately. He turned to her, smiling stiffly and commenting on the strange lack of other members. She didn't reply, instead walking over to his chair and slumping down beside it, her head leaning back against the armrest. Kaoru looked down at her, not in the least surprised by her normal lack of energy.

"Is something wrong, Haru-chan? Care to share?"

She thought carefully about her reply. She didn't want to seem too nosy, but she was sure that he needed to talk about whatever was bothering him.

"As a matter of fact, I am concerned about the suspicious lack of molestations occurring this morning. Neither you nor your brother has attacked me, and the other usual suspects seem to be absent. This worries me."

Kaoru shot her the trademark smirk, but she noticed that his eyes didn't match his lips.

"I believe that, in fact, Mother and Father have relocated to another room for some early morning… stress-relieving yoga, and Hunny and Mori are probably getting Hunny's 9am fix from the confectioners. Why, Haru-chan, do you miss our beloved public displays of affection?"

In actuality, she knew perfectly well that Tamaki-senpai and Kyouya-senpai had set up some sort of booty-call system. She had grown up with a transvestite for a father, so she knew from him how to recognise and deal with these things. He had always told her to watch out for such activity in a misguided attempt to protect her – but anyway. She wasn't _that_ naïve. Yoga. That was a new one_._

"That's not what I meant, Kaoru, and you know it. You can tell me what's up, you know?"

His eyes tightened slightly at this. Oh yes, he definitely knew that she knew, but still his smile didn't falter.

"Maybe so, but it's not something you would underst- well, you just…"

She watched his eyes patiently, and soon enough his mask began to crack. He sighed quietly.

"There's really no use in hiding it from you, is there? You've always been observant, and you'll probably look at me in that weird concerned way until I tell you. Maybe it would help."

By now, he had returned to the position he had been slouched in when she had first entered the room. Following her instincts, she kept quiet and simply leant her head gently into the arm resting beside it, in some form of comfort. He sighed once more, before posing a question to her.

"What… what would you do if someone you liked kissed you, but you knew they didn't like you back? How do you interpret that kind of kiss?"

_Oh. Um, excuse me? Kiss?_

Well, she was a little surprised, to say the least. It was _definitely_ not what she had expected. Yet her brain began to analyse his words all the same, searching for hidden meanings. Someone he liked. From the defensive attitude he was giving off, it would appear that the kiss was a surprise attack, probably forced on him in a weak moment. Thus, it was unlikely to be from a female (also considering that no girl would dare kiss Kaoru for fear of breaking the 'beautiful, fragile' (meaning: super-steamy and forbidden) brotherly bond between the twins.). The only other person near to Kaoru who could shock him this much by just a simple kiss- no. Surely not. Hikaru… kissed Kaoru? But that would mean that the act wasn't an act! Twincest _actually existed? _The two of them – oh my. Her usually rational brain began to fill with all manner of fangirl-ish thoughts, which she had to sweep away rapidly before they could reveal themselves on her outward appearance. She was a mature young lady, and those kinds of thoughts were inappropriate, especially taking into account the fact that the two partners were her _friends_.

So. Kaoru had admitted to liking the person who had tainted his lips (Hikaru), and seemed to be deeply troubled by this fact. He was probably killing himself inside, she thought. Yet, even Hikaru wasn't the type to do something that big to his beloved brother for a joke. At least, not a full-on lip-to-lip kiss. Ah – Kaoru wouldn't want her to know that he liked his brother. He would want to keep it secret, buried deep inside him where nothing would ever come of his feelings. Typical Hitachiin. In fact, he was probably worried that he might disgust her if she found out, that he might be hated or shunned. Idiot. She was raised by a _transvestite,_ dammit. How many times did she have to say it? (Ignoring the fact that this was her personal internal monologue) She was accustomed to these things. Still, for his sanity's sake she was going to have to try and help without betraying the fact that she had worked out so easily what had happened. But how could she help him while blindfolded?

It was clear from his demeanour that he was taking the kiss in the wrong way. Being Kaoru, he must suspect that Hikaru had felt nothing in the kiss, had only done it out of hormone rage or getting too caught up in the 'Brotherly Love' act. She was 95% sure that Hikaru returned Kaoru's feelings, but utterly confidant that neither of them would realise it without a helping hand.

However, she didn't want to meddle. That was, as she said, Tamaki-senpai's job.

"I, personally, would ask him or her straight out what their intentions were, I think."

There. Straight to the point, and not pressuring him to tell her the name of the culprit. But Kaoru only laughed derisively, something definitely unusual for the younger twin.

"There's no way I can do that. No way. Under the circumstances, I'd rather it was all forgotten than ask hi – them – straight out. I just don't want… I just don't want to break it, I don't want them to back away from me, but I hate all this running away…"

His voice trailed off, and once more he placed his head in his hands. It seemed that he was thinking hard about something, like the hurt he was going through was infecting his mind, his every action. _Love is quite scary sometimes_, thought Haruhi. _But maybe that's why we get so lost in it – the deep fall swallows you whole. _Stop. No poetic, girly thoughts. Help Kaoru.

He suddenly spoke, waking her from her reverie.

"Maybe if he forgets, if I can erase these feelings – maybe we can go back to those days, the way things were. I just need…"

Their eyes suddenly met, and a bolt of electric fear tingled Haruhi's spine. His golden eyes were burning with feverish pain, some sort of fine frenzy, and taking on a predatory look. They froze her in place. She couldn't escape as his fine features came close to hers.

"If I can erase it, cancel it out, will it stop? Will it stop hurting? Can I make things go back to the way they were? Cancel it out… I have to cancel it, erase it all… I'm sorry, Haru-chan. Forgive me, but these feelings – it's so sick and wrong. It hurts me, and it will hurt _him_. If I can cancel them out, erase them we can be together again. Just let me try - I'm sorry."

Wait – he wasn't going to – _surely_ _not!_

Her lips! Her pure untainted lips that she had spent so much effort into protecting from the advances of those around her who would take advantage of them! Her first kiss, stolen by a _girl_ thanks to those _idiots_, and now _this!_ No freaking way…

Kaoru placed one hand gently under her chin, tilting it upwards for better access. He leaned in, placing his lips only millimetres away from hers and whispering against them softly:

"_Please, Haruhi. Help me erase them…"_

Oh God! Help – her lips… his lips… so soft against her own, a gentle, caring kiss.

She closed her eyes, stolen away in the moment.

* * *

**[A/N] So, what do you think, my pretties? Good, bad, or plain old ugly? Sorry if the new way of showing POV change is a bit inobvious - Fanfiction seems to not support those little asterisk thingys.  
**

**I'm thinking of writing a one-shot spin-off of this on the whole mention of Tamaki and Kyouya's 'yoga'. If you wanna read it, please tell me in a review, and I'll get my butt into the desk chair and do it. But only if you guys want to read it. Warning: It will be a one-shot lemon. No minors are to come crying about traumatisation, 'kay?**

**Ah yes, the excuse. To put it into a short conversation between myself and my friend A:**

***in French class***

**Teacher: It's that time of year again. The one you all have nightmares about, the one you have trained for. Be strong.**

**A: What-ho?**

**Me: Oh no!**

**A: I think I detect a...**

**Me: Folio!**

**All Students: Egad! Run while you still have the ability! Escape!**

**Teacher: *numerous arms grab escaping pupils* Nice try, midgets. Get your butts back in your seats and WRITE, dammit.**

**And so, the folio work began. We have to write long, uninteresting essays _in another language! _I apologise, but it was truly an agonizing week, believe me. And it's not even over yet... ugh.**

** Has anyone noticed that the author notes are my favourite bit of writing a fic? Oh, I fired Hobbsie as co-author. She's an 'editor' now. Gives her more nap-time. She's also much more helpful now. Please praise her in your reviews! :) By the way, I love all you people who have favourited us or put us on alert, but (I'm going to seem really ungrateful and mean here)... REVIEWS MEAN SO MUCH MORE TO US THAN JUST CLICKING THE 'ALERT' BUTTON! EVEN IF THEY'RE JUST THREE WORDS LONG! Sorry... just had to get it off my chest. By the way, once again, love all you reviewers! You are the light in my sky, the caffeine in my mornings, the Alfred to my Arthur (hetalia XD), the Light to my L - am I going overboard here? Gonna shut up now...  
**

**Anyhoo, thanks for reading. If you want to hear more about the Tamaki/Kyouya fic, or want to read it at all, do tell me. It makes me so happy to hear from you all!**

**Love, Natsume (Main Author for SilverWillowMusic.)  
**


	4. Your Words Echoed

**[A/N] Oooh, things are about to heat up! I had fun writing this one, sorry that it took so long. I hope you enjoy it! **

**Big thanks to Hobbsie, SWM's chief editor, who has been most helpful with this one (A.K.A. She replied within two days rather than the usual four) Just kidding, she saved you guys from waiting another week for this chapter. Also, HUGE cheer for my AMAZING friend Foniflopeffie, known to as Life'sEternalSong. She is _superb! _I tell you, without these two, I don't know if I could have continued.  
**

**Dedicated to Mafe Ly (thank you for always cheering us on, Mafe!), and all the lovely few who read and **_**also**_** review. You're the reason I write this stuff.**

**I don't own the Hitachiins or any part of Ouran High School Host Club. That right belongs solely to Hatori Bisco, yadda yadda yadda. You can't sue me! You can't! I'll just escape into the world of fiction! You'll never find me, so don't even try! Not like I have any money to give you, but whatever.**

**I'm going to shut up now so that you can read the new chapter in peace.  
**

* * *

Hikaru stood at the door of Music Room No. 3, pondering what lay beyond it. He revelled at the new experience of entering it alone. He had always come through this door with his brother safe beside him before, a constant in the bright and often confusing universe of life with the Host Club.

_The first time Hikaru Hitachiin had opened these doors, he had been terrified. They were about to venture into the unknown when they stood there – about to venture out of their comfort zone, into a world where other people could reach them. Despite their outward haughty appearance, someone had approached them and pulled them away from the sweet seclusion they shared. Tamaki had pulled them along to his beat, irresistibly drawing them here. And so they stood, both silent, while Hikaru ran in mental circles. He was scared to death that this simple move beyond the boundaries of their little universe might encourage more such steps, more independence, and eventually the blooming of complete separation. He didn't want the hand he held to ever loosen its grip, to pull away in the slightest. Praying to some unknown god, he gripped Kaoru's hand tighter, as if it were the final lifeline to the shattered world they once knew. Thus together, the brothers pushed open the door to their new world._

And here he was once more, standing in front of the doors to a world that had changed. This time, though, the change behind the door was to be faced alone. He placed a hand on the doorknob, breathing in as he turned it slowly. The door opened just a fraction, and he paused once more. Voices…? Haruhi-chan's slightly cynical tone and – Kaoru. What were they doing alone? He listened closely, trying to pick up what odd snippets of their conversation he could.

_"What… what would you do if…kissed you…but you knew… interpret that kind of kiss?"_

_Are they talking about what happened last night?_ Hikaru stood rooted to the ground, unable to escape. He knew he should leave, or go in and interrupt. He didn't want to hear what was coming - he had to leave. But still, his feet kept him there, some morbid curiosity gluing him to the spot. _Am I a masochist? I don't want to hear this…_

_"…ask him or her straight out…"_

Ah, that would be Haruhi-chan's sensible voice. _"Ask him or her straight out"_– What could that mean? That she wanted Kaoru to ask him about the kiss? No, he didn't want that. If Kaoru asked, it might all come bursting forth, a torrent of things unsaid, and things better left at the back of one's mind. If only he could change things in some way, erase the kiss from both their memories, so neither would have to suffer. He from the guilt and suddenly amplified spectrum of feelings in his chest, Kaoru from the confusion and pain that Hikaru seemed to have caused him.

How could he have been so stupid? He turned to leave, knowing that staying would only hurt him further. Hikaru preferred to live in denial of the revulsion that Kaoru must feel for him than face it. There was no accounting for what he had done, so he should just ignore it, pretend and pray that all would be forgotten. He didn't want to hear it all confirmed. If his fears were proven by Kaoru's words, he would have nowhere to hide anymore.

_"…these feelings – it's so sick and wrong. It hurts me, and it will hurt him. If I can cancel them out, erase them..."_

Hikaru whipped around. Kaoru knew? He knew of his feelings? For how long? No...

_Oh, god, no…_ What must he think of Hikaru? That must be why he had been avoiding him. While being so busy running around 'protecting' Kaoru, he had failed to notice that he had destroyed it all long ago. He had, without seeing, ripped apart the foundations of their relationship, their memories, everything they had. He had been _'hurting'_ his brother all this time. This couldn't be happening – no, please. How could he…? What should he…?  
One phrase came into his mind, draping a dark curtain over all other thought.

_"…sick and wrong…"_

His knees gave way, and he fell to the floor. So that was it. He had been found out, and rejected without even knowing. He was sick. Disgusting, immoral, repulsive. _Wrong._

Tears filled his eyes, threatening to spill over. Yes, he had seen it coming. He knew it was going to happen sooner or later. But, up to this moment, he had been able to run away from this knowledge in his mind, to hide behind his denial. But now, it had all been thrown into the open, a clear, unmistakeable refusal - utter rejection. Once upon a time, he could have thrown his feelings into the sky with his brother beside him, let everything be seen as a child's innocence. Innocence – when had they lost it? That simple refuge? When did he make the fatal choice? What changed him?

What was he going to do now? Where could he go? There was no way he could return to his brother's side. There was nowhere to run.

But he didn't need a destination. He just had to get away from here. Now.

He turned back once more, against his better judgment, to see that vibrant reflection just once more.

Only to see the last handhold crumble.

Something echoed in his head... something that had been told to him long ago...

**_'Je parle dans du nom du père; ne pas lâchez de la main de l'ange, qui est mieux que la comédie vulgaire de cette vie que nous vivons…'_**

As Kaoru's head bent, Hikaru saw his entire universe crack and shatter around him. That which he had once solely possessed and loved, and been loved by in return, was gone. As their lips gently touched, his heart ripped in two. As her eyelids fluttered closed in defeat, the tiniest gasp rang from his lips, an echo of the pain racking every fibre of his self, as tears blurred his sight.

Everything was shaking – why couldn't he see?

Hikaru turned to run blindly, knowing full well that there was no comfort left in the world he could escape to. His sole comfort was lost to him, away in someone else's arms. The boy he loved was unreachable now, enamoured with the girl Hikaru had once imagined feelings for, before everything he had tried to ignore became so painfully clear. The hand he had always gripped so desperately was freeing itself, tearing away from his selfish needs.

In his mad escape, he failed to notice one more thing. He had inadvertently revealed himself to those he left behind.

...

Kaoru had his eyes screwed shut, desperately trying to make the kiss penetrate the way Hikaru's had. He tried to lose himself in it, to forget everything in a swirling storm of feeling the way he had with Hikaru, but it wasn't working. Admittedly, he could feel his magic working on Haruhi. After a few seconds' shocked stillness, she had given in and began responding to the kiss, her eyes closing as she so openly forgot herself. He would have chuckled at that once – the great cynic had closed her eyes, giving in to the raw feeling of the kiss. He knew this reaction from seeing so many girls faint at Tamaki's magic, but for Haruhi-chan to react and himself to feel nothing – it wasn't right. It didn't fit. Why? Why couldn't it just work, the way it should, the normal way?

A gasp from the direction of the doorway snapped him back to reality. He jerked his head around to see who had caught them, just as Haruhi came back to her senses and shoved him away, hands covering her lips. Ugh, he didn't have time for this! He stood up, seeing a figure crumpled on their knees in shock at the door suddenly get up and run. Unconsciously, he started after them, something pulling him towards whoever had held that destroyed posture at the door.

As he reached the door, wrenching it open, he saw a familiar figure disappear around a corner, running like their life was on the line. No way…?

Hikaru?

Hikaru had seen him… kissing… Haruhi?

No. What – how – what should he do? How could he explain without revealing everything? Oh, god, what must his brother think of him? Kissing Haruhi, someone who he was well known to see as a mere friend, straight after what had happened last night? Knowing Hikaru, he would draw some absurd conclusion from it, probably feeling betrayed at Kaoru's not telling him that he 'had been in love with Haruhi'. He would feel that 'as a brother' (that always stung) he had a 'right to know'.

But… why was he running like that?

Even at this distance, Kaoru knew his brother's figure to the smallest detail.

_Hikaru had always been the more athletic of the two, easily pulling ahead in races and games; he could have elegantly breezed past, but instead held back just enough for his twin to catch up. His amazing brother would always grin cheekily as he jogged backwards against a bright summer's day while he teased Kaoru about his speed, not a care in the world. He had always partially wanted to catch up, to be equal, but had never managed. He was always just behind, content in the most to watch Hikaru be so carefree._

Today, however, that figure ahead ran doggedly, stumbling and shaking. He ran raggedly, as if unable to quite determine where he was, or where he was headed. Yet, Hikaru still continued on his weaving path, but slow enough that Kaoru could almost catch up. Why, though? Why was he crying?

"Hikaru!"

He just wanted him to stop, to tell him why he was crying. The strangled cry echoed in the empty corridor, and thankfully, Hikaru stopped dead. He whirled around, apparently shocked to see who had been following. _Well, who else would it be? Another fangirl stalker?_ Tears were flowing freely down his pale cheeks, and the sight of Kaoru seemed to make matters worse. He covered his mouth with a shaking hand and choked out the first syllable of his name.

"Ka-"

Suddenly, he backed away, his eyes wide, and began to run again. Kaoru shouted after him, pelting after him just quickly enough to grab the wrist of his shaking twin. Tears began to fill his own eyes at the sight of his brother's state. _What have I done? Did I – did I cause this? What should I – how can I –_

_-How could I do that to him?_

As his brother turned, Kaoru stared straight into the glistening eyes of his twin, his other half. His expression conveyed unspoken words, silently whispering questions to which he feared the answer – there was nothing he could do to fix this. He had hurt Hikaru somehow, and there was no way he could ease the pain. In the past, he would have only had to hold out his hand for the two to reconcile and be connected once more, but now...Now, all he had was apologies and questions that would never be answered.

"I'm sorry, Hikaru. I'm so sorry…"

...

Hikaru stared at his brother, momentarily confused at his words. _'Sorry'_? Why was he apologising? Did he have any idea how it felt? Did he even know why Hikaru was running?

_Why did he follow me?_

Wait. If Kaoru knew what he was apologising for, if he knew about Hikaru's feelings and had really rejected them so thoroughly, been so sickened by them, then why was he here, trying to apologise? Why would he even care?

These thoughts attacked Hikaru's already bruised and confused mind, driving him to a last defence, his weapon of choice. Pretend like nothing happened, and try to regain some pride. He wiped his eyes quickly. There was no way this was going to work…

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Kaoru. Now, if you wouldn't mind, I have somewhere to be and you are currently obstructing me. Please let go of my-"

"SHUT UP, HIKARU! YOU'RE NOT OKAY! YOU'RE CRYING, YOU IDIOT! HOW CAN I – how could I leave you like that…"

Hikaru froze, again taken back by his brother's words. Kaoru never shouted, never let go of his emotions to such an extent. Oh god, it was all coming out – he couldn't hold on any longer –

"What do you know? What gives you the right to pretend like you're sorry? Just leave me, the way you've been doing for months. You knew, didn't you? You abandoned me, your disgusting, _'sick and wrong'_ doppelganger, so why not keep it up? You don't want me; stop trying to pretend that you care. Just go away, I don't want this, I don't want to think anymore… I hate you, I hate you so much, I hate…"

His words trailed off as tears choked him, and words he couldn't voice had to be forced down, covered up. He tugged weakly once more at Kaoru's grip. Damn, why was he being so weak!

Suddenly, his arm dropped. Kaoru had let go…? He looked up, trying to confirm something in his brother's gaze, but meeting an expression filled with such pain and anger that he froze, intimidated almost to the point of cowering away. He held his fiery gaze, trying to discover what had riled Kaoru so. Kaoru raised his arm, glaring intensely at Hikaru. That hand that he had once almost considered a part of himself, that he had clung to, suddenly seemed very, very different. _What is he going to –_

**_SLAP!_**

The harsh blow to Hikaru's face resounded emptily around the corridors, as he fell to the floor at his brother's feet, clutching his flushed cheek. He looked up once more, hurt and shock stopping his tears and barricading him from replying. Kaoru's own face was twisted with some sort of enormous pain, as tears of anger and hurt began to flow down his identical face as well.

"How could you say that? After all these months I've spent, desperately trying to hide it from you, from the world, you do this? First you kiss me, nearly killing me because it shows just how unreturned my feelings are- it's all just brotherly love to you, isn't it? – And then you do a complete turnaround like _this_, and suddenly _I'm_ the one hurting _you_. _What do you know_, you ask. At least I know my own feelings! I don't go around playing with other people's emotions out of boredom! At least I know where I stand, even if it's an impossibly painful place to be!"

He sank down, knees seeming to give way as his anger dissipated into sadness. The two now knelt together on the floor, defeated and filled with hurt. The perfect reflections harmonised completely – except for the mar Kaoru had placed on Hikaru's cheek in his anger.

"I never wanted any of this to happen." Kaoru whispered, almost to himself. "I only wanted it all to stay the same, to never change."

By this point, Hikaru was utterly confused. Those were his lines that Kaoru was speaking! He couldn't read Kaoru's eyes, couldn't understand him without words they way he once could. He would have to ask.

"Wait. What do you mean? What did you hide? Why? I don't understand…"

His words were asked in innocence, but Kaoru flinched like Hikaru had hit him. An unidentifiable expression crossed his face, and he sighed, his shoulders drooping in defeat._ But, what was he giving in to…?_

Kaoru looked him full in the eye, sending electric tingles down the older twin's spine. There was something in those eyes, a look he had often avoided seeing in mirrors. It was the look of one who has suffered the weight of a torturous secret, and the pain of denying your very heart. He couldn't look away from it – he was captured in the reflection in front of him.

"It's all because of you. It was all for you, and yet here we are…"

Kaoru seemed to a breath, before continuing in a voice no louder than a breath.

"It's because I love you."

* * *

**[A/N] And with that, my dears, I am FINISHED my first joint fanfic! (Well, it _was_ joint until I demoted Hobbsie...). Anyway, SilverWillowMusic's first fanfic was a struggle, but we did it! Thank you for reading! I shall leave you to imagine what happens next...**

**JUUUUST KIDDING!**

**You know I love you all, right? Even you who don't review? I lo~ove you! (*cough* I'd-love-you-more-if-you-reviewed-the-story *cough*)  
**

**Sorry if my little french quote was wrong - I just HAD to put it in somewhere. I kinda changed the end of it, and my french isn't amazing, so if I've misquoted it or got something wrong, please tell me. Just out of interest, who recognises the origins of said french quote? FREE VIRTUAL COOKIE FOR THOSE WHO DO~**

_'Je parle dans du nom du père; ne pas lâchez de la main de l'ange, qui est mieux que la comédie vulgaire de cette vie que nous vivons…'_

** This translates as:**

'_I speak in the name of the father; do not let go of the hand of the angel, who is better than the vulgar comedy of this life that we live...'_

**It's a lovely little phrase, ne? It's so meaningful - They are each other's angels! (fangirl squeal!) That's why I kept going on about them holding hands - it's a symbol of their longing for lost innocence! DON'T LET GO OF HIS HAND, HIKARU~! **

**Anyone who recognises that quote will have the finale dedicated to them, so if you know, speak up.  
**

**Sorry... just had to get it off my chest. By the way, once again, love all you reviewers! You are the light in my sky, the caffeine in my mornings, the Alfred to my Arthur (hetalia XD), the Light to my L - am I going overboard here? Gonna shut up now...**

**Thank you so much with putting up with us for this long! Only one more chapter to go (eek!), so please await the glorious finale patiently! It'll probably be really, really short.**

**Like, this short:**

"OMG! Me too!" said Hikaru. And they lived happily ever after, amen.

**I REALLY WISH I COULD DO THAT ( it'd be HILARIOUS) , BUT I CAN'T. I'll do it properly, promise. If I do it at all, that is. (tee hee)**

**NOTE: THE FINAL CHAPTER WILL BE RELEASED ON THE 22nd OF APRIL. This is because that is the day that I, Natsume, shall turn the page of another year on this planet. That's right! It's gonna be my BIRTHDAY! I want to get awl your reviews as presents :3  
**

**Until then.**


	5. It Ends, It Begins

**[A/N] Here it is, the finale! I'm so happy it's over! It was amazing to write, but I have exams now, so don't expect to hear from me for a while.**

**Well, I say this is the finale, but there's one last thing I want to do… for more details, please read the author's notes at the end!**

**Oh, yeah. It's my birthday! I posted this at midnight (my time zone) on the morning of my birthday, so even if it's not my birthday any more when you read this please review anyway if you like it. Reviews are the best presents, belated or not!**

**I don't own Ouran (duh), Hatori Bisco does, blah blah blah. You get it.**

**Dedicated to Midnight Custard (more about her at the end ^^).**

* * *

Kaoru's words echoed emptily around the hallway, seeming to resound with each thumping beat of Hikaru's heart as he tried to comprehend them.

"_It's because I love you."_

No way. There's no way. He couldn't mean it. There was no god in this world; no magic that could have granted such a miracle. But yet, it seemed that they were the same. Everything Kaoru had said, he had experienced too. The way his twin had said it… Had they gone through the exact same thing? Both trying to hide their desires, hurting themselves and each other without looking close enough to realise that those compelling desires and yearning were mutual? All along, it had been the same for them both. Hand in hand, reflections in a mirror. They are one, the same, yet uncertainty had caused their fickle hearts to divide, wrenched apart by what should have interlocked them for eternity.

What an idiot he had been. Slowly, a resolve was forming in his mind. If Kaoru really felt this way, if it was true, then he should be just as honest. He would tell his brother of the pain he has endured, of the yearning he had felt and of the fear. The consuming fears that Kaoru had placed in him by abandoning him out of - fear of abandonment himself? He was happy, but also very, very annoyed, mainly by their shared idiocy.

First things first, though. They couldn't do this here. Anyone could see them, could stumble in and interrupt things at this crucial moment. Where…? He glanced around, trying to find it – there.

The instrumental room. No one would be using that today; no one had used it in years. The instrumental room was one of the few rooms in Ouran Academy that was truly abandoned. Students these days had their own high-class, custom-made instruments, and so the small space had been gradually forgotten. They could talk in private there. He turned to Kaoru, explaining in as little words as possible that they should not be saying these things in the open. Numbly, they walked together out of the exposed hallway, shutting the door behind them. Still silent, they found an out-of-sight corner behind a dusty, unused rack of string instruments, where once more they knelt opposite other, strangely formal in the solemn atmosphere of the room. Hikaru breathed out, looking around. It was almost a sad place; the only sound their own breath. Once, this room would have been filled with light and melodious sounds, as people tested the once-loved instruments for that perfect partner, tuned them, adjusted them, strummed a few chords or blew a few notes, practiced exam pieces and solos, even held whole orchestra rehearsals, and chatted merrily with other young musicians.

Now, the cellos and flutes lay untouched, coated in a fine layer of dust. They had been replaced, left behind in a swirl of technology and modern advances. He wished briefly that he could play them, if only to breathe a little life back into this place. It was such a waste. He pulled his eyes away, the emptiness of the place causing his heart to throb in sympathy. He had things he still wanted to say. Anger, grief, love; the feelings were gradually intensifying to an aching crescendo of emotion in his chest.

He raised his eyes to those golden, identical ones in front of him. They were burning intensely, studying his own face closely, searching desperately for something, anything that would betray what his eyes were attempting to disguise. So, he responded. Hikaru took a deep breath, murmuring his brother's name slowly, with a hint of a smile as he raised a hand as if to caress that familiar expression and –

_**SLAP!**_

_**...  
**_

Kaoru reeled back, clutching his cheek in an exact imitation of Hikaru a short moment earlier. He looked at the older twin in shock, only to find a gentle smile and eyes once more threatening to spill over with tears awaiting him. He opened his mouth to speak, a question that had not quite formed rising in his throat. Why was he smiling? This place, the things being said and done – it was too much, too soon.

"Hikaru –"

His brother cut him off, shaking his head quickly. Puzzled, Kaoru let him take the lead. Hikaru suddenly beamed broadly through his tears, before switching to a more solemn expression. Damn, Kaoru was so _confused._

"See? Now we're even. You hit me, and then you say you love me? You _idiot._ This confession, do you think it makes up for the months of anguish I've gone through? Do you have any idea how much it hurts, how _worthless_ it makes you feel to be treated so coldly by the one you love, the one you believed you could never have? If you love me, why did you kiss Haruhi? You kissed her, and said all those things, making me feel so low, so repulsive and immoral, and yet you have the nerve to tell me that _you love me? _You caused me to believe that I was unworthy of being your brother, of _existing_, and all because I fell in love with you to the extent that it hurts just to be away from you_,_ and you can still say you love me? You're wrong. _I _love _you._ I love you, you idiot. I love you…"

**_..._**

His voice trailed off and his cheeks flamed red as he realised what he had just said. All that time he had spent covering it all up seemed to pointless now, and the feeling of letting it all out was incredible. He felt so light, and he could feel his heart pounding louder in his chest than he ever had before, even louder than when he had kissed Kaoru. Still, face burning, he forced himself to meet the younger twin's eyes once more.

A wide grin had spread across Kaoru's face, finally brightening those eyes that had been dimmed for so long now. He began to shake slightly, laughter rocking his body. Hikaru glared at him, silently inquiring as to why the boy was laughing when he had just been accused of false confession. Kaoru noticed, and wiping his eyes, he moved closer to Hikaru, leaning back and looking at the ceiling.

"May I explain everything?"

Hikaru nodded, wanting to hear it all laid out bare, to inspect it for himself. He couldn't believe it was real, not quite yet.

"First things first. We're both idiots. No, don't glare at me like that, I saw you think the same thing just minutes ago. We wasted all that time trying to push away something that we both felt, could have both shared if it wasn't for our stupid insecurity. I want you to know, I love you too. As much as you say you love me, if not more. That's why I ran away, why I kissed Haruhi. I didn't want you to hate me, to try and leave me. I was thinking all the same things you were. I just wanted to erase it all before you could find out and get the chance to hate me."

Eyes wide open, Hikaru stared at his brother. He knew that body, knew when it was telling an untruth, and right now, everything about his brother screamed wholehearted truth. He was right, they both felt it… but, the fact remained, they were – suddenly, Kaoru began to speak again, interrupting Hikaru's train of thought.

"Oh, and about the kiss. I know I hurt you when I ran, but I had to. There was simply no other way out. Please remember, I was clueless. I had no idea that you felt something in that kiss, that you were doing it out of love rather than pent-up sexual frustration, or something stupid like that. I didn't want to think of it any other way, in case I was wrong. So, in order to protect both of us, I ran before my emotions betrayed me. You see, when you kissed me… it was like something inside me suddenly revived, and it swept through me with such force that I was afraid of getting lost in it. We were one again, but the passion was sweeping us into unknown waters, and I was terrified that we would never be able to escape. I know that we're brothers, but it was just so _right,_ in a way that I've never experienced with anyone else… So now, to hear that it's okay to love you and for you to tell me that you feel the same way – I don't care about the rest of the world –"

He stopped short, because Hikaru's hand had covered his mouth stopping the words from escaping. Kaoru was right – they were perfect, _this_ was perfect. No-one else's opinion mattered anymore. And with that, he felt a spark light within him. The connection that they had once felt had reopened, and their thoughts and feelings flowed freely between them. Once again, after the long isolation, they were truly together. The shattered sphere was whole once more. He had one thing he wanted to say however – it had been so long since he had finished one of Kaoru's sentences so perfectly.

"We don't need to care about the rest of the world, because you and I are all that counts."

**_..._**

_...So we grew together  
Like to a double cherry, seeming parted,  
But yet a union in partition,  
Two lovely berries moulded on one stem..._

_**...**  
_

Their hands intertwined, as they rose to their knees to embrace. The feeling of being so close to this body after all that time apart… nothing compared. The painful love that had once poisoned him slowly from the core had begun to change, to morph into something indescribable - the moon rising to light up the darkness. Together, as one, they closed their eyes and kissed. So soft it could have been missed, and so fleeting that a passer-by would have merely thought they were hugging after a fight. But to them, it was so much more. A symphony of love requited, a harmony of souls. Maybe they were blessed, after all.

They stayed like that for a while, simply savouring this time in each other's arms, not needing to voice their emotions. Eventually, they smiled and stood once more, hands still linked. The time for crying alone was past. They left the room, running their hands gently over the lonely musical instruments as they passed. Quietly, they left the room, both vowing inside to do something for it. To see those forgotten things – it reminded them too much of what they could have become. When they got back to the host club, sorted everything out, maybe they could reopen the room. Tono would help, being a music lover. But, it would be a while before that time came. After all, from now on, they had a whole different relationship and outlook to face. Still, they would face it as one, and never again would they let go of the precious hand in theirs.

**_..._**

_Two unique souls, bonded by birth,_

_Separate souls, separate minds_

_Yet their hearts shall remain entwined_

_For eternity_

_**End**_

* * *

**[A/N] Did you like it? It was so amazing to write! Sorry that this last chapter was so short. I did warn you. By the way, IT'S MY BIRTHDAY~! (I'm making as much noise about this as possible). I, Natsume, am finally FIFTEEN! I feel so old...**

**Also, Hobbsie has made a bet with me, that she can get more reviews on her Hetalia story (which I even helped her with -_-) than this one, which I wrote. So, show your support for Ouran and the twins! Review! Review! We HAVE TO WIN THIS!  
**

**Okay, so now for the good stuff, like credits, details about possible epilogue etc.**

**CREDITS**

**Author: Natsume  
Editor/Helpful Person: Hobbsie (Mississippi Hippy)  
Last 2 Chapters Editor: Foniflopeffie (Life'sEternalSong)  
Final Chapter Inspiration: Midnight Custard  
Quotes in This Chapter: William Shakespeare, **_**A Midsummer's Night's Dream  
**_

**A note about Midnight Custard: If you're into M-rated fics, go read her Kyouya/Twins stories. They are simply delicious. Thank you for giving me this chapter's inspiration, Custard.**

**Many thanks to all of you. I bow deeply to your wonderfulness. Without you, this fic would not be here at all.**

**Okay, the epilogue.**

**If you want to hear Haruhi's thought on the matter (as she ponders the kiss and the twin's relationship) and hear a bit more about what follows the end, (such as what becomes of the poor forgotten instrumental room) leave a note in your review saying so. For now, the fic is completed, but if after a month (Yes, I have exams next month) or once my exams are over, I feel that enough people are requesting this epilogue, then I shall write it. It would be entitled 'As The Magnolia Blossoms' and would be added to the end of this story about June.**

**If I feel that it is not really wanted, I won't bother. You have until June, so please give me your support! I won't be active on this site at all until then, so please wait for me!**

**Thank you so much for reading SilverWillowMusic's first fanfiction, and for sticking with us until the end. It means so much to us, and we love to hear from you all.**

**God, it took so long!**

**Much love and thanks,**

**Natsume and Hobbsie (SilverWillowMusic)**

**P.S. Review, I beg you! Even if it's just one word! I wanna win this bet!**


	6. Epilogue: As The Magnolia Blossoms

**[A/N] So… it's a bit late, I know.**

**I'm sorry. I totally forgot this was even on my hard drive. BUT, it's here, it's finished and it's not going anywhere. It is all yours. BTW, thanks to the many bands etc whose songs I have borrowed. Especially The Midnight Beast, because I love them. Seriously, their 'Tik Tok' parody is my alarm. Big thanks to Fonigiri for joint-editing this with Hobbsie.**

**I can't believe I'm spending my summer writing fanfiction _again._  
**

**Please review :3 Imma beg you 'til you do.**

* * *

_Rooms full of people and discordant noise are so off-putting._

This thought had crossed Haruhi Fujioka's mind so many times in the past year, usually while she sat in this chair by the window. The contrast between the clamour of the Host Club and the serene view out over the gardens was really an amazing thing, and an easy way to drown out the stress and demand of the charming male personality she had to permanently wear. During her breaks, Kyouya-senpai allowed her to sit and dream by the window as it made her look 'pensive', increasing her 'moe factor' and thus raising their profits. She smirked, finding humour in this small calculation of his. A couple of years ago, she had never heard of 'moe factor', let alone heard it applied to herself.

Later, once the guests were gone ( and Tamaki-senpai was satisfied that each guest took a thumping heart and rosy blush with them), she sat back in that lovely spot and watched the early evening light colour the landscape. As it spread over the weeping cherries, a small twinge bit at her heart. The sakura had fallen now – the time for love and confessions was pretty much over. Not that she cared. That period was always more annoying than romantic to her – there was a huge surge in love letters and surprise proposals that impeded her studying, and she was stalked by love struck females (and the odd male) practically twenty-four seven. Additionally, around that time of year Tamaki-senpai and the twins usually seemed to get a lot more daring in their games with her, which was a real annoyance – she had better things to do than be dragged around by three idiots with a tendency to forget themselves when romance or drama was in the air. Therefore, spring was definitely the worst time of year to be around them. Even this year, when all of the Moron Troupe seemed perfectly paired up, she was still molested at every opportunity.

To say the least, it confused her. The Shadow King and the Host Club King were quite clearly (and sometimes, early in the morning, quite audibly) getting it on (who knew Tono was a screamer?), and judging from Tamaki-senpai's slight limp some mornings, there was no reason for him to still be intent on playing around with her. Maybe she could pay Kyouya-senpai to exhaust him completely so that he would have no energy to humiliate her from now on…? Actually, hearing the yells from the dressing room some days, she feared that he might end up seriously wearing the boy out, or maybe even making him _more_ randy. Damn.

And the twins! Those two... she was the only one who knew that the recent increase in heat and fondness between the two was no act or illusion. The tender look in their eyes, the way their hands never seemed to be more than a few centimetres away from each other – it was almost sickening. And yet, she found it hard to tear her eyes away from their obvious joy. Often, she would find herself sighing while she watched them, before the cynic in her would kick in and kick away her faint envy. As a cross-dresser (voluntarily or not), it was unlikely that she would ever have an opportunity for any of that. Unless it could up the club's profit, love was off-limits. Not that she would – all of the males in that institution were idiots, or stalkers. Yes, she was happy here – alone, but quite happy to be away from the madness around her.

...

"What do you mean, you want me to learn the flute? For next Tuesday's "Grand Re-Opening" that you seem to have made up just now? And no, I don't want the girls to love me more! I'm quite loved enough, as can be told from the three stalkers Mori found under the table-cloth this morning!"

"But, Haru-chan… please, the theme is 'Unexpected Sound', and who would expect _you_ to play the flute? We'll even dress you up, it'll be lovely!"

"How is _that_ supposed to endear me to your stupid little scheme? For the last time, Tamaki-senpai, _**no**_."

The usual morning routine – Tamaki-senpai attempting to rope her into something ridiculous and probably impossible, while she refused it outright, before being somehow coerced into a compromise by Kyouya-senpai… despite knowing the outcome, she played along – it was always a small amusement to see the slightly less-than-intelligent king try and persuade her.

After some debate, she agreed to appear in the concert – as the introducer of the acts. That way, Tono got his wish – she would appear in the concert in formal dress, and she avoided having to learn an instrument (impossible) or dance/sing for the crowd's enjoyment (humiliating _and_ degrading, how fun). Plus, she could make fun of the Host Club without getting in trouble. Yes, she was up for it, but as usual, she suspected that there would be a catch involving cross-dressing. It sounds repetitive, but it was nearly _always_ true. Still, she had a whole five days to come up with a preventative plan.

Now, she needed a quiet place to escape and study (that always brought back memories of her first encounter with the Host Club), and she figured the best place would be the soon-to-be-reopened Instrumental Room. At least then she could claim to be skipping out on club activities to do research. Now that it had been renovated and redesigned by the Hitachiin twins (she couldn't deny their talent for fashion or interior decorating, as much as she wished to), it was like it had been given a whole new life. The once dull, musty space was now vibrant with airy whites, soft browns and the odd streak of daring red. It was also filled with soft light, cast from perfectly placed large windows that gave a view of the grounds, while also catching the best of the light during all seasons. Best of all, the twins had installed one thing just for her – an apology, she secretly thought, for the ki- their recent over-stepping of boundaries. That thing was a small bay window seat, placed discreetly at the side of the room, in the furthest window from the main area. The perfect spot to rest and enjoy the evening light, as she was often seen to do. The room was warm for its size – it had been opened out to be a small performance area as well as storage room, just big enough for the club's most loyal fans to view the performances of the Grand Re-Opening. And Grand it would be. The twins would alomst definitely do something sexually suggestive (which she was _not at all_ looking forward to or approving of), and god only know what the two Kings would perform.

Suddenly, a chord blared through the room, crumbling her peaceful moment. She jumped, chills running up her spine as the unmistakeable duo of the Hitachiin voices ripped through the room

'_Wake up in the morning feeling like Winehouse  
Grab my Breezer, out the door, I'm gonna be really loud  
Cuz I don't care who I piss off, yeah I'm a real big sinner  
Sometimes I eat my dessert before my dinner…'_

Oh god. Oh no. They were here. She had to hide, quickly, before they found her. There! Behind the double basses – perfect – now all she had to do was keep quiet until they got sick of playing with the sound system. She could see them now, swaggering up to the spot where she had just sat, giggling and singing the odd line into the mic. Kaoru grinned.

'_I'm with my bro, havin' a sleepover at mine  
Maids said light out, but they're still on at half-nine!'_

Hikaru, through painful looking laughter, managed to force out his following line.

'_There's nothing gay 'bout doing nails, or doing hair  
No nothing gay 'bout sleeping to-ge-ther!'_

Kaoru raised an eyebrow. "At least make it scan, bro."

The Midnight Beast…? Seriously? Then again…it kinda suited the twins, in a way. Recently, they had regained their childishness. In the past few months, she had worried about the cold pain in their eyes, and how they never seemed to look at each other properly. But now, it had changed. She could tell that they'd fallen in love again - once more, they were comfortable with each other. Just like children... except for the night-time antics they probably got up to- _shut up shut up shut up, brain!_

They were grinning their identical faces off as they ground up against each other for 'The Dance Routine', but it was so comical and so unusually…_unsexy_ for the twins that she couldn't help laughing a bit. Until a small snort escaped her, that is. The happy expression dropped immediately from her face as the twins whirled around to face her hiding place. A wave from Hikaru, and the music cut immediately. Dramatically, they whirled to face each other, clasping the others' hands and grinning evilly before turning back in her direction, tilting their heads just slightly to give the full effect of their catlike killer grimaces.

"Well, Kao-chan, I do believe I heard a sneaky mousey give herself away by snorting oh-so-delicately at our beautiful vocals"

"I believe I heard it too, my dear Hika-chan. And, as a respectable pair of cats, I believe it is our duty to capture this mouse and punish it accordingly…"

Oh crap. Oh, crappitycrapcrap. She had been discovered. And she couldn't escape. In a futile attempt to protect her body from the onslaught ahead, Haruhi tried to get up, but just as she did, something yellow was thrown in her path. Wait… a banana peel?

As she slipped, a rarely idiotic thought ran through her head.

'_Woah… slow motion… I feel like I'm in The Matrix…'_

But before she could be shocked at her own mind, the twins caught her. The rest of the afternoon has since been repressed due to extreme trauma.

...

Five days later, and the Grand Re-Opening was coming to an end. Haruhi was tired – no, exhausted, but there was only one act left to go and then her part in the proceedings would (finally) be over. Additionally, her costume was driving her insane. The red bow tie was scratchy against her skin (the twin's creation was lacking a collar, instead having a strange, foldy neckliney thing – she wasn't good with describing clothes), and her long tailcoat was a huge distraction, not to mention the cummerbund and high waisted trousers she was putting up with. Those simple words could only give a vague idea to the shape of the monstrosity. It was – feminine, yet not feminine. Almost like a dress from one angle due to the tails, but from another she seemed like a normal (if ever-so-slightly effeminate) boy. A strange creation indeed – as expected from the fashion 'savvy' pair.

The program had been somewhat strange, but the audience had reacted well to the chosen songs, and she felt that her input had been sufficiently deadpan to keep them happy between acts. Each song (as most of them were) had been different, but also represented the character of the performer quite well. So far in the evening, she had only been humiliated twice (maybe three times, the last one she was unsure of). Tamaki-senpai, in true Big Entrance style, had decided to open the show with a mystery song. When the melody came in, however, everyone in the room began to giggle. You see, the King thought it oh-so-funny so sing 'Stacey's Mom' in his own schmaltzy way, but had subtly edited the lyrics to fit 'Haruhi's Dad' instead. It was hilarious for the club, albeit herself, and fun for the clueless audience, but she had had no idea as to where the lyric change idea had come from (no way the King was bright enough for _that_) until she saw the twins pissing themselves with laughter in the wings.

Moving on, they had had the chilling experience of Kyouya singing 'When You're Evil' by Voltaire. Who knew the Shadow King had the ability to sound wholly evil (to those who had experienced even the tiniest part of his wrath) or 'so like, vampire cool!' (To the cool-type fan girls) whilst also having a pretty good voice? Not much could_ surprise_ Haruhi Fujioka, but that one had at least been _unexpected._ As an interval from the big acts, Nekozawa and the Black Magic Club had sung (from below the stage) an acapella of the very fitting 'I'm an Emo Kid', accompanied by some very creepy shadow puppets above them. ("Anyone finding themselves suddenly experiencing an unusual desire to wear guyliner/all black and self-harm, please report to the Medical Office immediately where you shall be observed by the Logic Says No Club for evidence of curses" had been her only comment on that one)

She had been dragged onstage and twirled around (and almost ground against) by the twins during their mash-up entitled 'We're too Sexy Back', but because she had been warned beforehand, she had let them off with a simple slap and sarcastic comment afterwards. It had been a very good at though – they had almost had to call an emergency interval due to the large numbers of girls swooning as the fiery duo ground and twisted against each other in unison, moving away for only short moments before coming back together in their barely-legal dance routine. It was very, very close to sex on stage, but it had made the fangirls go wild (even she had given in to a faint blush), so all was forgiven. Contrast was then introduced with Hunny dressed as a rabbit singing 'Sugar, Sugar' by The Archies, accompanied on tambourine by an expressionless Mori, forced to dress in a bunny suit also. It had been cute, and the motherly instincts in every member of the audience, had been brought out, and it showed in the applause they received – almost more than the twins.

The song ending now was Renge's only appearance, and boy, had she made use of it. Singing 'Popular' from the hit musical '_Wicked_', she had employed about 15 backing dancers and the most ridiculous costumes, in her usual flashy style. However, it was suprisingly fun to watch. Renge had a clear talent for showbiz... she just liked to flaunt it too often. Thankfully, the song had come to a close, and the applause was short. Her part in the evning was so nearly over... She sighed, but smiled anyway, and walked back on stage to introduce the final act.

"Ladies and gentlemen – though I'm guessing that most of you here tonight are the former – our last act has come. Some of you may be sad, some of you, like me, may be rejoicing," (friendly wink) "but anyway. I present to you our King, Tamaki-senpai, singing a song of his own composition, entitled… "Goodnight, Sweet Flowers". Enjoy!"

As she walked away, she couldn't help but smile as she sensed the lights going up on the grand piano and its master. She could imagine the soft smile that would cross his lips as he looked at the audience tenderly, and then his hands would take position over the keys, and gently caress the melody from the piano. She watched from her seat in the wings, chuckling at the schmaltzy way he played. All he needed was a candelabrum, and he could really be the next Liberace. If you ignored the actual lyrics (_Your tender glances/ they ignite my heart/ but alas, my dear/ we must henceforth pa~rt_), and concentrated on the melody alone, it could really be a very nice piece. It flowed well, working its way into the core of the listener, captivating them easily. As to be expected of the Host Club's King. But still, those dreadful lyrics – cliché after cliché – they only worked on _that_ type of girl. The ones who followed her around with heart-shaped eyes, proclaiming her as their 'Prince! Beloved prince!'. Seriously, ew. This song was for the girls who had the chance to approach their fantasies during the time of the sakura, the ones who would fall in love with a wall if it happened to be in their way when they fell, or catch their eye at _just_ the wrong moment. Girls who weren't cynical. Girls who wore make-up and dressed to impress guys.

Girls who weren't into yaoi, and didn't secretly imagine the hottest guys in school in bed together and-

The applause distracted her from her drooling.

...

The next time Haruhi Fujioka sat in her precious window seat, she noticed something that gave her the tiniest smile of joy.

The sakura had long fallen, but in the middle of the garden, something else was blooming. The magnolia tree was slowly opening its large flowers to the sun, slowly dressing itself in graceful whites. She sighed happily.

"It's a lovely view, isn't it, Haru-chan?"

She turned around, a small feeling of annoyance showing on her face as her peace was disrupted (as usual) by the King. However, before she could voice her complaints, he came and sat down next to her, immediately continuing to talk.

"The magnolia, huh? I have to say, although it's not as pretty or attention-grabbing as the sakura, I think… it's a lot more interesting. Don't you agree? It looks like it's been waiting, like a graceful lady that's usually hidden by the young and bright sakura finally being able to show herself. That's what I love about Kyo- um, you..." The expressionless look on her face must have embarrassed him, because he then stood up rather hurriedly, blushing and apologising for interrupting her to say such silly things, and rushing off.

As he left, she looked back, feeling her face flush and her smile appear. Did that fool have any idea what he sounded like? Trying to be so poetic and profound! What an idiotic king…but if he had really shared her thoughts when he said that, then… it would be one of his most moronic moments. Jesus, who talked about Kyouya as a 'graceful lady'? Then again, the Shadow King did always hide his feelings behind a mask. Oh god, was Kyouya-senpai that tsundere? What if in bed-

No way she was going there. However, even though Tamaki-senpai was talking about the hidden warmth of his lover, she could always dream about those words being applied to herself by some man in the future. In the meantime, she would continue to watch over the Host Club (who else could, what with those morons being so utterly _moronic_) and fantasize about- ahem, watch over, the budding relationships around her. Especially the twins. Their flushed faces after the concert expressed their joy at the success of the scheme. It had taken a lot of effort, but the place so special to them was now open and welcoming to everyone. A warm room, full of memories waiting to be made. Secretly, Haruhi knew that she was looking forward to seeing it grow and become an important place to more than just the twins. Seriously, those soundproof walls... would be _perfect_ for illicit affairs and- _fangirlish thoughts away!_

Yes, there was still time for her own magnolia to blossom.

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**[A/N] If you liked it, please review! Spread the lo~ve 3 **

**My next Ouran project is… (Drum roll…) a teensy little story about how Kyouya and Tamaki got hooked on 'early morning yoga'.That is, after my Hitachiin handcuff fic. I mean, story about two young men working through their problems with um, exercise? And um, eeh… yeah, handcuffs. Look out for a new account being opened just for these :3**

**Go review! Be the Light to my L, the Giri to my Pan, the US to my UK, the milk to my cookies, the poster to my wall…**

**In short, go be lovely. Please.**

**Flames will be used for toasting some tasty marshmallows of awesome.**

**Love, Natsumi  
(Just realised I've been spelling it 'Natsume', which is the male version :P I'm very much female, so I changed it. Apologies for the mistake)**

* * *

**GIRIPAN REQUEST DETAILS**

**Any ideas for a Hetalia Greece/Japan fanfic?  
Send me any ideas you have via private message, and I'll write a little oneshot based on the best one/s . HOWEVER, there are a few rules.**

**1) It has to be cute, Giripan is a cute couple.**  
**2) No men-pregnancies**  
**3) One-shots only unless it's an amazing idea for a series.**

**Give me any and all ideas, no matter how stupid or smutty (well, to a certain extent...).**

**I'll pick the best one (or more :3) on the 20th August and get writing.**

**Looking forward to hearing your ideas :D  
Natsumi  
**


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